Cut me some slack

Man, I've been gone a while. Sorry 'bout that, but I've not been feeling very well lately. "Garbage" is the word that comes to mind when describing my overall state of being these past few weeks. Can you guess why? Anyone? Anyone? That's right- we're expecting.

This is something we've been hoping and praying to happen for months. We've known for a little over a month and have basically kept it to ourselves. I guess I just like having an official doctor/midwife visit to confirm things before we go broadcasting our news. Is that weird? Maybe, but now we need not be so secretive. I'm due at the end of March/ early April. Still not entirely sure of the exact date, but that's far off enough that I don't need to worry about it just yet. And yes, I've been feeling crummy. I had two or three weeks of practically day and night nausea, paired with fatigue, food aversions, weepiness and migraines. Today I had the pleasure of fighting off two migraines, which was quite annoying. Got zero done around here. It's my own fault, though, because I don't drink nearly enough water and I've probably got a protein deficiency, too. Well, now I know what I need to change, and hopefully these pesky headaches will leave me the heck alone! My nausea has subsided in recent days, which has been a major relief. I expected the early pregnancy symptoms, but they seem to have hit me with a vengeance this time.

For this pregnancy (like with Hakan) I decided I wanted to see a midwife. I'd heard of a birthing center in the area, and when I got online to research it I learned that it's in Meridian (about 25 minutes down the highway towards Boise) and that it's a privately owned and operated facility run entirely by midwives. The idea of not having to go through the whole hospital experience again was appealing, and I've never been brave enough to attempt a home birth. But I was still a little unsure about the safety of such a place. So I scheduled a tour and Aaron and the kids and I went down to have a look last Wednesday. When we got there we ended up waiting for half an hour before seeing anyone, and then we didn't get to tour the place because they had laboring/recovering mothers in every room. I guess that's not how it usually goes, but I'd seen photos of their rooms on their website and knew they were nice and homey and big, with a jacuzzi tub in each one. The head midwife answered all of my questions thoroughly, so on my way out I scheduled an official appointment for the following Monday (yesterday).

Things were pretty much standard procedure- pee in a cup, weight, draw blood, questions, answers, etc. Then came the ultrasound, which brings me to our other news- we might be having twins! That's right, might. Can you believe that? After two different kinds of ultrasounds and a good ten minutes of looking and poking, that's the best we could do. The midwife was very patient and really didn't want to send me home with "maybe", but she just couldn't confirm or deny if what we were seeing was just one baby hiding behind another, or one baby and a shadow, or a really thick umbilical cord, or... something. Sheesh!!! During the first ultrasound the midwife seemed pretty convinced that we were seeing part of a second baby. She even pointed out what she thought was a second sac. But during the internal u.s. she started having doubts but couldn't tell me 100% one way or another. She's very careful not to tell people that there's just one person growing inside them when there's a possibility there are more. I did get to see at least one baby very clearly with a strong little heartbeat, which is always wonderfully reassuring.

Soooo, I go back next Wednesday to try again. She said you'd be surprised how much a baby changes in a week. Maybe by then it will be more obvious if the one we saw clearly is alone, or if there is another one in there maybe they'll have changed positions and both will show up.

Aaron and I are both bewildered. I mean, what are the odds that we'd have twins? Like, one in 1000? I have to admit, I've had my suspicions. Something's just been different this time. But those were just feelings and impressions which I'd immediately brush aside because medically and logically, there's just no way!! But... that spooky ultrasound makes me wonder...

It's hard not to think about it, but I'm trying not to drive myself crazy waiting for Wednesday to get here. Luckily Aaron will be on vacation from work then and he can come with me to that appointment. He was in Rexburg for work on Monday and had taken Pyper with him, so it was just me & Hakan at this bizarre office visit.

I think for now I'm just going to try to convince myself that it's just one. One is all we were hoping for in the first place! Two would be fun and exciting, but also a huge load of work and worry.

Anyway, just wanted to share our good news, and our little mystery. ;)