We have house guests.

But not the good kind.

We have the kind who come uninvited and are MOST unwelcome. The kind who stay waaaaay longer than you'd like and who aren't obliged to leave without difficulty. The kind who cause discomfort and irritation and anxiety for the duration of their stay.

Our house guests are head lice.

I know. EW. (I wish I could make that word bigger because it just doesn't quite convey my disgust. And don't worry- no photos.)

I was grocery shopping at Wal-Mart today with all 3 kids (not something I usually do, trust me) and while the cashier was ringing me up I noticed that Hakan had taken off his hat... and there was something in his hair. I plucked it out and for some reason looked at it before I flicked it away.

It was a bug. I tried to squoosh it, but it wouldn't squoosh. I had to squeeze it between my fingernails.

Then I thought, 'Was that what I think it was?'

Still waiting for my total, I proceeded to ever so nonchalantly comb through his hair with my fingers, hoping not to spot any more, all the while screaming in my head "YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!"

I didn't find any more.

On the way home I phoned Aaron to ask if he could think of where Hakan could have picked up the foul creature. He didn't know. All we could do was guess.

Once home I fixed Hakan his requested bowl of cereal for lunch and sat him up to the breakfast bar so I could search him more closely. Pyper waited patiently for her lunch. After not finding any more bugs on Hakan, I figured I probably oughta check Pyper out, too.

Lemme just say, I was sickened. I found several live lice within minutes, and promptly sent her outside.

Poor thing. I was freaking out and just didn't know what to do with her.

So I called Aaron. He said to call the doctor then call him back, which I did. The nurse I spoke to gave me a few pointers and said to buy an over the counter kit and the home spray for our furniture and mattresses, and Aaron said he'd go by the store to get them and come on home.

Once I got Hakan and Finnley down for naps, Pyper and I sat at the table and I began picking the little buggers out of her hair.

NOT FUN.

This took hours. Meanwhile Aaron was turning the living room upside down and vacuuming EVERYTHING, and I was throwing everything that could be washed that she might have come in contact with into the laundry room- blankets, pillow cases, bed skirt, quilt, clothes (clean and dirty) from her room, towels, etc.

Pyper was definitely rattled. But she held up pretty well until I told her that her stuffed animals were going to have to be quarantined in plastic bags for a month. She burst into tears and said, "But I'll have to sleep alone!"

Poor thing. She's been a champ. She apologized for making me and Aaron do all that, like it was her fault or something! Bless her little heart.

Have I mentioned that her first day of school is tomorrow? Thaaat's right. The day before school starts and we discover this.

Luckily the nurse said that if I can de-louse and de-nit her today, she can go to school tomorrow. Who knows if I got them all, though? I guess we'll find out in a week.

Oh, yeah. And I'm teaching Hakan's first preschool class at our house tomorrow. Fan-bloody-tastic.

I'm just praying that I don't get them. I'm afraid Aaron would make me shave my head before he'd spend an entire day picking me over like a chimpanzee.

Anyway, heck of a way to start out the school year, no?