Today while the kids and I were puttering around Rexburg killing time, we visited the Dollar Tree and hunted for treasures. Hakan and Pyper were allowed to choose one item, as well as a pair of sunglasses. They were so cute, they wanted matching scuba masks (their one item) and matching sunglasses. Those glasses were glued to their heads until nap time, and even then I had to convince them that we don't need sunglasses when we're sleeping.
Later when Aaron was done with work we all drove down to Idaho Falls and had dinner at The Brownstone, one of our favorite local restaurants. Afterwards we headed to Grandma Bobbie's house. On the way Pyper noticed that she didn't have her sunglasses with her. Tears were in her eyes as she began to frantically search around the car for them and quickly realized that they'd been left at the restaurant. She asked if we could go back for them, but we said no. We needed to get to Grandma's, and since they were only $1 we figured it just wasn't worth it to go all the way back. She was so upset, but wiped her tears when we arrived at Grandma's house.
After our visit and we were making our way out of town, she asked again if we could go and get her sunglasses. We'd already told her no, so that was the answer that came again. We spouted off reasons: You shouldn't have taken them inside in the first place, you should keep better track of your stuff, they're not that important, they only cost $1 and can be replaced, it's getting really late and we need to get back to the hotel and in bed, etc.
She cried some more and pleaded with us. Then I started to wonder if any of our reasons for not going to get them were making any sense to her, or if she just thought we were being mean. Would she look back on this incident and actually learn a lesson from it, or just think that her parents were cold-hearted, money-wasting jerks?
Was it worth making her so sad over a "lesson"?
How many times have I stuck to my Mean Mommy guns because I think my kids need to be taught a lesson, which probably wasn't really necessary?
Why is "no" the answer that comes out of my mouth first?
Why am I so concerned about being consistent and practical that I can't even sympathize with my broken-hearted little girl?
After pondering these questions for a few minutes, I finally asked Aaron if he even cared if we went to get them and he said he didn't. So I steered towards the restaurant and the beloved sunglasses, adding a good half hour onto our trip to the hotel.
Pyper came in to retrieve them with me, and as she walked out with glasses in hand she heaved a huge sigh and said, "I feel so much better." Before she got back into the car I explained to her that I didn't go back because I care about those silly sunglasses, but because I love her and didn't want to see her so sad. She gave me a hug, so I'm hopeful that at least that lesson got through.
Admittedly, I was annoyed when I looked at the clock and it was nearly 10 as we were driving back to Rexburg. But then I glanced in the rear view mirror and got my reward. There was Pyper, bobbing her head to a song on the radio with a smile on her face.
Sunglasses on.
At ten o'clock at night.
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