Ever heard the Chuck Norris Facts? They're "true" statements that verify the toughness, awesomeness and overall superiority of Chuck Norris. They've become a widespread joke online, and today when I was walking through Wal-Mart I saw two posters with a list of 50 Chuck Facts that I almost bought as a joke for Aaron. Instead I just read a few but had to jot down a couple so I could tell them to him later. Aaron appreciates a good Chuck joke because they're pretty dang funny, even if you don't give a crap about Chuck Norris (like us). Here are some that I found online that I like:
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.
Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Okay, now I do realize that it's almost 1 in the morning and that some of these may not seem as funny to you as they do to me right now. But I just had to share them in the off chance that they might just make you giggle. 'Cause I think they're funny. Seriously, some of these had me crying. :)
Wow, it must be bedtime.
2 comments:
When Chuck Norris jumps into a lake, he doesn't get wet... the lake gets Chuck Norrised.
oh my gosh, i love these so much! a lot of them, i've never heard of before. like the Scrabble one and the one about Waldo. actually, i've only heard a couple of these... you should tell Keith and Todd about this, because i know they'd appreciate it! haha
The Boogyman one had me laughing. One of my favorites is: Do you know what a dead ringer is? It's someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in the movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
I don't give a darn about Chuck Norris, but these things really are stupidly funny, aren't they? XD
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